


Wish

by Tammaiya



Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Identity Issues, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-25
Updated: 2004-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:15:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammaiya/pseuds/Tammaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fuuma sees Wishes. Sometimes he grants them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Etrangere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etrangere/gifts).



Seeing Wishes is one of the more irritating aspects of being dark _Kamui_ , in Fuuma's opinion. Oh, it's all very well and good being able to use people's dark secret desires against them, but that doesn't take into account the fact that he can't just turn it on and turn it off at will. Excluding some very select examples-- most of which involving Dragons-- he really doesn't care about other people's desires, and quite frankly, there is such a thing as 'too much information'.  
  
Some people have Wishes that are sick even by his standards.  
  
Seeing Wishes is an extra sense, like a cross between selective vision and hearing. In fact, it is remarkably like being surrounded by bright lights and endless noise. Wishes give Fuuma a headache.  
  
Confused Wishes and unfulfillable Wishes are the worst; it isn't surprising that encounters with Kamui result in head-splitting migraines.  
  
Most people have neatly structured Wishes, one Wish shining brightly above all the other lesser Wishes. Kamui is a mess; he has one desperately impossible Wish Fuuma finds almost blinding, and then a complete tangle of helpless uncertainty. Aside from wanting the old Fuuma back, he doesn't have clue. It frustrates Fuuma beyond all else.  
  
Recently, though…  
  
Recently, a new Wish has begun to form, twisted and confused as all the non-Wishes before it had been, but a Wish nonetheless. It grows every time the two _Kamuis_ encounter each other, and Fuuma watches it take shape with sadistic curiosity. Kamui's soul continues to cry out for his childhood friend, but the fledgling Wish soon begins to twine around the core Wish like a parasite, weakening Kamui's resolve from the inside.  
  
Fuuma watches, and wonders if Kamui is a masochist, and then he wonders what the old Fuuma would have thought about that. Every time Fuuma pins Kamui to a wall, licks his blood, the Wish fluctuates and grows stronger.  
  
 _I wish the old Fuuma had touched me like that._  
  
Fuuma doesn't grant Wishes out of altruism; sometimes he grants them because they are annoying him, and sometimes he grants them because it is in his best interests to do so. Sometimes, as with the Sumeragi's warped Wish, he grants them because he enjoys watching people destroy themselves with their own fucked up desires.  
  
The next time he encounters Kamui, Fuuma almost laughs at the petrified expression on the smaller boy's face. Quaking, frozen in fear… Kamui might have been a match for Fuuma, if he fought back, but he is too traumatised even to run. So it seems, anyway; Fuuma begins to suspect there is a little more to it than that. Oh, Kamui is afraid of him, no doubt about that, but his Wish suggests there is a treacherous part of him, perhaps the part starved for affection, wanting Fuuma to touch him.  
  
 _I wish…_   
  
Unfortunately for Kamui, the heart does not make sensible choices. It does not think things through, or choose its words carefully; the heart doesn't understand loopholes. Unfortunately for Kamui, Fuuma _does_ understand loopholes, and is perfectly aware of the power held by Wishes that have been recklessly worded.  
  
Unfortunately for Kamui, this is a Wish Fuuma can grant.  
  
Kamui squeaks and shrinks back as Fuuma moves forward, trapping himself against the wall. Tactically a very unwise move to make, and exactly the kind of action that is typical of the naïve Seal. Primal instincts-- if I don't move, you can't see me.  
  
It doesn't work on humans. Fuuma thinks Kamui should have figured this out by now, but then, it's hardly a conscious move. He reaches out, and Kamui flinches, letting out a muffled sob as he squeezes his eyes shut and flings his head to the side.  
  
"Kamui? What's wrong?"  
  
Hesitantly, Kamui's eyes flicker open, confusion clear in his expression. The tone of the words was gentle, concerned, and he hasn't heard that voice speak like that for far too long.  
  
He's met by a pair of warm brown eyes, and his heart almost stops dead. Fuuma didn't simply begin acting differently as Kamui's twin star; he looks different, sounds different, crueller and more self-assured. This isn't that Fuuma.  
  
"Fu-Fuuma?"  
  
Fuuma frowns slightly, lifts a hand to brush the hair from Kamui's eyes. "Hey, Kamui, you okay? What's-- hey, calm down, it's alright, shh…"  
  
Shivering uncontrollably, Kamui collapses against Fuuma's chest, hands clenched in Fuuma's coat and breath coming in deep shuddering hiccups. "F-Fu-Fuuma, y-you… it's r-really _you_ , I was so s-scared…"  
  
It's stupid of him, letting his guard down like this. If Subaru were here, he would try to warn Kamui, grab him back. Watch out, don't believe it, appearances can be deceiving.  
  
Subaru knows that better than anyone.  
  
Kamui _does_ know the difference between the two Fuumas, though, and he's right; this is the old Fuuma, _his_ Fuuma. Everything about him is different: his eyes, his voice, his aura. Besides, subterfuge simply isn't the Dark _Kamui's_ style. Unlike the Sakurazukamori, he is not a master of illusion and deceit; he has always preferred a more direct and physical approach to torture.   
  
That is something which _Kamui_ knows better than anyone else.  
  
"Shh… It's okay, don't cry…"  
  
Fuuma tilts Kamui's head back, and Kamui lets him do it. The taller boy brushes a hand across Kamui's damp cheek, curls fingers around the back of his neck, holds him close and speaks into his hair. "Better now?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Kamui whispers, though not even he is sure what he's really apologising for. It's a sorry for nothing and everything all at once; sorry for leaving, sorry for not coming back sooner, sorry for being so cold, sorry I couldn't stop things turning out like this. Sorry I couldn't change our fate, sorry for crying.  
  
It might be an apology for what he's about to do, and before Kamui can have second thoughts he reaches up and pulls Fuuma down and their lips meet in an awkward kiss. The kiss is salty with Kamui's tears, but at the same time it's sweet because this is Fuuma and it's an opportunity Kamui thought he had lost forever. He wishes he'd realised this was what he wanted before his world crumbled; he thinks maybe it could have saved things, because a part of him still believes in faerie tales and every child knows that love conquers all.  
  
There's still hope, though. Even though Kotori is dead and Subaru is broken, the world doesn't have to end, literally or figuratively. Kamui thinks he can move on, if Fuuma is with him.  
  
The kiss breaks off after what is both an eternity and a single instant, and when Fuuma smiles, something inside of Kamui melts.  
  
"Please?" Kamui asks, and Fuuma is breathing against his neck.   
  
"All you ever had to do was ask," he answers, and his mouth is so warm as he trails kisses down Kamui's neck, warm like looking into his eyes and being enclosed in his arms.  
  
They're in the crumbling ruins of a collapsed building, but it doesn't seem to matter much. There's still a roof, Kamui notes dazedly as he's lowered to the floor, and the ground is comfortable enough. All he can feel is warmth, warmth filling him and cradling him like Fuuma's promise to protect him always, warmth in his mind and body and all around him. He's covered in a blanket of warmth, and he's been in the cold so long, maybe as long ago as leaving Tokyo as a child.  
  
It could be one hour later, or it could be many. Kamui and Fuuma are curled up together on the floor, Kamui half asleep on Fuuma's chest. Fuuma leans over to kiss Kamui on the forehead and smiles sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry," he says quietly, an unconscious echo of Kamui's earlier words.  
  
Stirred to wakefulness, Kamui blearily opens his eyes and moves to sit up. "Mm? Fuuma?"  
  
"He's gone," Fuuma says sadly, but there's a mocking edge to his words. Kamui stiffens in shock, and Fuuma smirks. "Too bad, little Dragon. Think of this as a life lesson; naïve children don't have very long life expectancy in the real world."  
  
He twists Kamui's arm behind his back viciously, making the Seal yelp in pain, and with a dark chuckle licks the shell of Kamui's ear before biting down hard. "Sweet dreams," he purrs, and he's gone before Kamui is even able to feel his arm again.  
  
Fuuma doesn't know what effect this will have on Kamui. It will either harden him or shatter him beyond all repair, and his dark counterpart is vaguely curious to see which it will be. Either should be interesting; one way will give him the strength he needs to abandon his foolish hope of redeeming his beloved and sink the sword into his heart, and the other will mean the assured death of humanity.  
  
Fuuma wonders whether Kamui will believe it was the real Fuuma or if he'll decide it was all an act. Fuuma never was a good actor; maybe Kamui will remember that. Even if he does, though, he's going to have to accept that the new Fuuma will always be stronger. One part of his mind mourns, a prisoner locked away, but out loud he laughs.  
  
Alone now, Kamui curls into a ball, suffering from shock and beyond tears. He's cold, colder than he remembers being before, and the numbness is sinking down to his core. A part of him has died, he realises dimly.  
  
It's the part that believed in faerie tales.


End file.
